Working together with your ex on anything after divorce might not sound like something you interested in doing. But when you have children together, being cordial with one another can make a world of difference for you and your kids.
Whether you think you can coordinate well with your ex-spouse or you ended your relationship on bad terms, planning ahead can ease this transitional period. You can do this by compromising on a co-parenting plan and creating a solid communication plan.
Finding middle ground
As you begin the divorce process, you’ll have to come up with a plan for how you will raise your children between two homes. This includes deciding:
- The number of days and nights your child will spend with each parent
- The school your child will attend
- Extracurricular activities your child will participate in
- A plan for addressing your child’s medical concerns
- Other important decisions regarding your child, like religious affiliation
You might feel like you want your child to only go to the clinic close to your home. But if your child can receive quality care at a clinic that is equidistant from both parent’s homes, it’s worth working making a compromise right away. Otherwise, if your ex must take a long drive to address one of your child’s essential needs, this might become a recurring inconvenience and cause disagreements.
As you ease into the parenting plan you create, you might find it’s necessary to revisit the schedule or inform your child’s other parent about something new happening at your child’s school. Coming up with a way to communicate about all things concerning your child will probably take some trial and error. Maybe you’ll find yourself preferring email over phone calls with your ex. Or perhaps, using a designated app has given you an ideal space for you and your co-parent to communicate in a professional and organized manner.
It’s important to accept that there may be some hiccups in communication and last-minute changes to the schedule. However, allowing time to find your rhythm and being flexible will help keep the tension between you and your ex at a minimum.