Sometimes, divorce is the only solution to a negative relationship. Leaving a combative marriage benefits you, your former spouse and your children.
If you have children, determining how to share custody is personal and complex, but if you have a high-conflict relationship, parallel planting is an ideal solution. Parallel parenting focuses on limiting contact with your partner and raising your children separately. While less interaction may mean less fighting, you do have to consider how you will interact when necessary.
Handling parenting obligations separately
The purpose of parallel parenting is to limit communication. You should have a strict parenting plan that covers visitation, exchanges and financial obligations. The parenting plan allows you to refer to it instead of your spouse in times of uncertainty. Additionally, you can include how to deal with disagreements within the parenting plan. For example, some spouses may benefit from having a mediator intervene during disagreements in parenting their children.
Sharing important details about your children
Both parents should stay informed about their children’s healthcare, academic performance, social life and other milestones. Technology makes parallel parenting easier because you can download various apps to share documents, calendars, photos and additional important information. If you need to have a conversation, try to keep the conversation to text messaging or email. Written communication allows you more control over what you say. Likewise, you can avoid miscommunications or arguments that maybe occur in verbal conversation.
Keep in mind that no two parenting plans need to look the same. Your parallel parenting plan should stay unique to you, your former spouse and your kids.